I want to feel well again

I am 27, 5ft 2.5 and weight 48kg and have been waiting 6 weeks for a referral for CBT and to see a dietician. I acknowledged I needed help and have been waiting for the referral to come through and in the meantime I am getting worse. I have restricted my calorie intake to 700 a day, I have been taking laxatives, and I feel so drained and unwell. I don't sleep at night and I constantly think of food. I went to the doctors again last week, and today, and they have now signed me off work for 2 weeks. I had an ED when I was 15-17 and saw the signs weeks (if not months) ago that I was slipping back into it again. I know I look terrible and I know I need to put on weight, but I seem to have great difficulty in just eating normally! I will happily devour a whole cantaloupe melon but won't even sniff a biscuit, or I will eat a whole lettuce and steer clear of a piece of bread. I tend to eat the most volume for the least calories and am obsessed with trying to get my '5 a day' so I feel like I'm being healthy. Now I have background rant out the way. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what techniques they have to be brave and eat? How you get over the guilty feelings after eating 'bad foods' or 'too many calories'. I have seen on the marks and Spencer's website that there are meal plans for 'count on us' and 'fuller for longer' ranges and I was thinking of trying to emulate them in order to up my calorie intake and start to feel less weak and unwell and alter my perception of healthy eating, rather than just eating fruit n veg! Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I know I will probably need to eat a hell of a lot more to put on weight, but I need to start somewhere and am hoping that increasing my calorie intake will help me feel less unwell and give me a life back!

I have to say that reading everyone's topics and responses has been really helpful and I wish everyone struggling all the best, and huge well done for the work you have done so far! Keep it up!

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