Single Parents: Top 6 Tips

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WebMD Feature Reviewed byHansa D. Bhargava, MD

When you're raising a child as a single parent, you're handling a lot of tasks and decisions on your own. You need effective ways to find support and make life easier and more fun for you and your child.

Start with these six tips.

Slideshow: Cleaning and Organizing for Parents

1. Develop a Routine.

Keep mealtimes, bedtimes, and the time the family wakes up in the morning fairly consistent. A predictable routine structures your day and helps give your child a sense of security. 

You may miss your kids during the workday and feel guilty that your job requires you to spend so much time away from them. But don't make up for it at night.

"Trying to squeeze in more time together by letting them stay up late is not the best approach," says Leah Klungness, PhD, a psychologist in Long Island, N.Y., and coauthor of The Complete Single Mother.

"Kids need more sleep than we schedule into our jam-packed lives," she says. "Also, parents need and deserve some kid-free time to get things accomplished and decompress a bit."

2. Make Time to Play.

No matter how busy life gets, devote time on a regular basis to relaxing and having fun with your kids. Focus your attention on enjoying each other's company and tune out other distractions.  

"I often recommend to families that they schedule a play time -- perhaps once a week -- when they turn off the television and phone and spend a half hour playing a game, taking a walk, or throwing a ball around," says Barry G. Ginsberg, PhD, a child and family psychologist in Doylestown, Pa., and author of 50 Wonderful Ways to Be a Single-Parent Family.  "It helps reinforce your emotional connection."

3. Seek and Accept Support.

Build a network of people you trust that can help with childcare, carpooling, and even projects around the house.

"The challenges facing single parents are not that different from those of all parents. But it may be more difficult for them to create the community of support we all need to function as parents. They need to be more creative and active in cultivating that supportive community," Klungness says.

Your support team could include, for example, relatives, neighbors, and other parents you meet at your child's daycare center or school.     

"You need ‘middle-of-the-night friends' -- people you can call at a moment's notice who can help you in person in case of an emergency," Klungness says. "But you also need people you and your kids can meet up with for fun activities. They may or may not wind up being the same people."

4. Form or Join a Childcare Co-Op

To save money on babysitters and get to know other local families, consider joining or forming a babysitting co-op.

"You can form a co-op with other parents you trust who have kids around the same age as yours," says Jim Anastasi, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist in Mason City, Iowa. "They can watch your kids one night a week and you can watch their kids the next night." 

To keep the system fair, members of the co-op "earn" a specific number of points in exchange for each hour they spend babysitting. They can then "spend" these points when they ask another member to babysit for them.

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Coffee May Lower Risk of Dying From Oral Cancers

ByKathleen Doheny
WebMD Health News Reviewed byBrunilda Nazario, MD

Dec. 12, 2012 -- Heavy coffee drinkers -- those who drink more than four cups a day -- may cut their risk of dying from cancers of the mouth and throat by nearly half, according to new research.

"We examined coffee drinking habits in nearly 1 million men and women," says Janet Hildebrand, MPH, an epidemiologist with the American Cancer Society.

"Those who reported drinking at least four cups per day of caffeinated coffee incurred about half the risk of dying from mouth and throat cancers compared to people who did not drink caffeinated coffee daily or only drank it occasionally."

That link held even when the researchers took into account smoking habits and alcohol use. 

Smoking and alcohol use are among the strongest risk factors for oral cancers.

About 35,000 new cases of oral cancers are expected in the U.S. this year, with 6,800 deaths, according to the American Cancer Society. The new study is published online in the American Journal of Epidemiology.

Previous research by others has linked drinking more than four cups of coffee a day to about the same risk reduction in getting a diagnosis of oral cancer.

Top Cancer-Fighting Foods

Coffee & Oral Cancers: Study Details

Hildebrand's team evaluated more than 968,000 men and women enrolled in the Cancer Prevention Study II. It began in 1982 and is overseen by the American Cancer Society.

At the start of the study, all men and women were free of cancer. During the 26-year follow up, 868 deaths from oral or throat cancers occurred.

The researchers evaluated the coffee- and tea-drinking habits of the men and women. They found the link between coffee and a reduced risk of dying from oral cancers.

More than 97% of the men and women drank either coffee or tea. More than 60% said they drank at least a cup a day of caffeinated coffee.

Among those who drank regularly, most had three cups a day.

The risk reduction of nearly half was similar for those who drank four, five, or six cups daily. Beyond seven cups, Hildebrand says, there weren't enough people to gauge the effect on risk accurately.

Hildebrand found only a suggestion of a link between those who drank more than two cups of decaf daily.

No benefit was found for tea drinkers.

Why Coffee May Protect

"We really don't clearly know the mechanism," Hildebrand says. "But we do know that coffee contains hundreds of biologically active compounds."

Many of them, she says, are now known to have anti-cancer properties.

The researchers can't be sure in this study whether the coffee lowered the risk of getting the cancers or improved the odds of survival once cancer occurred. The study only looked at deaths, not the diagnosis.

"We're not recommending people start to drink coffee or that people increase their coffee [intake] for cancer prevention," Hildebrand says. "Much more epidemiological and scientific and clinical evidence would be needed to support such a recommendation."

Coffee & Oral Cancers: Perspective

The new findings are ''fascinating and remarkable," says Joel Epstein, DMD. He is director of oral medicine at the City of Hope Comprehensive Cancer Center, located outside Los Angeles. He reviewed the study findings.

"It seems like there is a significant theme,'' he says, citing several other studies finding a lower risk of various cancers in coffee drinkers. "They are large studies," he says, usually funded by reputable organizations such as the American Cancer Society.

By and large, the studies are coming up with the same findings, he says, even though the researchers study different populations and different cancers. That's a good sign, he says.

View Article Sources

SOURCES:

Janet Hildebrand, MPH, epidemiologist, American Cancer Society, Atlanta.

Joel Epstein, DMD, director of oral medicine and adjunct professor of otolaryngology and head and neck surgery, City of Hope Comprehensive Cancer Center, Duarte, Calif.

Hildebrand, J. American Journal of Epidemiology, published online Dec. 9, 2012.

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