Staying healthy physically and emotionally - a tough few days

Hi guys, I wasn't really sure where to put this post but after some thinking I decided if anything what I am struggling with most is perhaps more an emotional health kind of thing.

Some of you might know I'm trying to adopt a healthy, normal mindset to food and exercise. I have never had an ED, but have certainly had 'disordered eating' in the past (like eating below 1200 cals 70% of the time then 'binging' on maybe 3000 or so other days, or over an hour of exercise daily to burn a splurge). My weight has never been below 105lbs or above 119lbs, I'm 5'4 female, 22 and currently 114lbs (well, last weigh in was a couple of weeks back). 

I've been trying to stick to sensible calories and exercise rather than going from one extreme to another. I've definetely got better, and I still splurge at weekends but am trying to realise that who doesn't? So long as it's not crazy binges and I still eat healthy foods, I'm healthy and active the rest of the time and I don't need to lose weight, so enjoy those treats, right? Easier said than done to keep that mindset and not to say 'need to restrict/exercise!'. My average calorie intake is just short of 2000, while calories burned averages at 220 per day.

These past few days have been hard. I had some temp work, 2 days of being up at 4am, working from 6am-6pm with at least 8 hours of that being on my feet, walking, carrying, going up and down stairs etc. This is not work I usually do. It completely exhausted me, and made me soo hungry - and so tired I didn't care atall what I ate! Must have been easily 3000 calories each day, maybe 4000. I was going to estimate and log, but honestly I don't think that would be mentally healthy. I especially binged when I came in before going to bed - I just felt the need to eat, eat, eat!

Today, I haven't been working. I slept in till 11am because I was so tired. But I have already eaten 1500 calories, and I have just felt so hungry. I still feel kind of hungry now - I am fantasising about peanut butter on toast lol. I'm definetely hydrated and eating my veggies and protein, but no exercise today because I just ache so much lol.

I am trying so hard to tell myself 'you worked hard, you probably need this food and rest, and even if the worst happens and you put on a few pounds, that's really not a huge deal'. But how can I make myself believe this?!

Sorry to ramble, guys, I could just really use some words of wisdom right now..!

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