Eating over maintenance..is it okay?

Hi! I'm a 21 yo female, 5'2", 108 lbs and I am attempting to maintain right now (even though I wouldn't mind losing more). Anyway, since I stopped dieting for a couple weeks now, I have been eating a lot of calories...way OVER MAINTENANCE averaging ~2200-2500 cals a day...some days even up to 3000 cals.

Yes, I know this is too much for a person my size and I am so scared that I will gain weight. My activity level is 6-8 hours a week.

Psychologically I can't accept myself eating this much every day but when i cut cals, I feel like ****. But gaining weight or fat will also feel like ****.

I'm honestly scared of how I'm eating right now and not sure if maintaining is the right mindset for me because I'm less strict with myself now than when my goal was to lose weight. 

I'm just kinda lost right now...how should I approach my situation?

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