Please help

Hi,

I'm 16 (nearly 17) and have suffered from anorexia for nearly 2 years now. It has stolen my life and has caused me major depression - I attempted suicide 4 times since I was officially diagnosed. My lowest weight was 42.8kg at 160cm (BMI was 16.7ish) a few months ago but I've never been ill enough for my CBT therapist to refer me to inpatient or hospitalise me. I increased my intake from about 100 calories at my worst to 1800-2200 calories most recently and my weight has stabilised at around 44.3kg.

The thing is, I don't know how many calories to eat per day. People advise 3000 calories for teens, but I don't feel like this rule applies to me because I've never been seriously ill or hospitalised. I don't know how much to eat or what sort of meal plan to follow... I just want some advice.

At the moment I eat:

Breakfast: 30g oats made with 100ml ss milk topped up with water
Lunch: Anything with 340 calories maximum
Snacks: x5 130 calories choc ices (not healthy I know, but I recently had oral surgery then braces fitted and I practically lived off them - now it's become kind of fixed in my 'plan' :/ )
Dinner: Whatever my mum makes (pizza/chicken and tomato basil pasta bake/beef and noodle stir fry) then a yoghurt and 3 squares of dairy milk chocolate

I can't deal with this problem anymore, it has taken so much from me but I don't feel like I have the mental or physical strength to do this anymore. I've spoken to my CBT therapist about this but she doesn't have much useful advice... At one point I begged her to admit me to inpatient but she said no as my BMI has to be 14 at most.

I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits' end. Someone please tell me how many calories to eat and give me a meal plan, please? Help me :(

Thank you for your time

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