ED to, suddenly, Overweight

Hey all,

New here, but I love the feeling of support everyone seems to give off so I thought I'd give it a try.

In late March, I realized I'd fallen back into bad habits of restricting terribly (got down to maybe 115 or 120 lb at 5'6); after that realization I sort of took off on the weight regain, getting up to my all time high of 163 today. I've been staying away from scales because I know they trigger me, so I hadn't weighed myself since I started regaining, but we had mandatory screenings at school today and I learned of my weight. That puts me at a BMI of 26.3, which is, for the first time ever in my life, overweight.

Finding out my weight today coincided with the first ever time I've been subject to a fat joke, and it stung so much; if I were to be honest with myself, I'd admit that I've been thinking too much about weight loss recently. The thing is, I'm terribly frightened of weight loss and restriction and exercise and don't know how to separate the healthy from the unhealthy there. 

My question is: will this weight gain come off just as quickly as it came on (40ish pounds in about a month and a half?!) or should I work to get it off and get to a normal weight (pre-ED, my highest ever weight was around 150, so I'd be happy there). I'm just so uncomfortable here, but also uncomfortable with the idea of weight loss. I just want to be normal as quickly as possible and don't know how I got here.

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