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Mindy Kaling seems to move at the speed of light.
At 33, she is the creator, producer, head writer, and star of her own Fox network sitcom, The Mindy Project. Her growing fan base includes more than 2 million Twitter followers, at whom Kaling fires off tweets on topics as varied as shopping, friendship, and the revenge fantasies she has while jogging. Her collection of essays, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), became a best-seller last year when her only claim to fame was being a writer on and co-starring in the NBC series The Office.If colleagues left in the dust are shaking their heads, Kaling shrugs off her heady ascension. "I'm an Asian kid who grew up the child of immigrants and went to an Ivy League school," she says, her high-pitched voice and rapid speech making her sound like an enthusiastic teenager rather than an industry heavyweight. "I'm a hyper-perfectionist and a people-pleaser."Raised in Boston with her older brother Vijay by her OB/GYN mother Swati and architect father Avu, Kaling became interested in comedy as a teenager. She spent hours deconstructing movies and comedy skits. After graduating from Dartmouth College, she and her roommate Brenda Withers moved to New York and while looking for work wrote a comedic play called Matt & Ben, in which Kaling played Ben Affleck to Withers' Matt Damon. In 2002, it won top honors at the Fringe Festival. After moving off-Broadway, Time magazine named it among the "Top 10 Theatrical Events of the Year."Producer Greg Daniels, just about to launch The Office, took note and hired the then 24-year-old as the show's sole female writer. During her eight-year tenure, the cast earned an Emmy nomination and she earned critical praise for her role as the narcissistic customer service representative Kelly Kapoor.Last year, when the show entered its final season, Kaling made a pitch to Fox: She wanted to write, produce, and star in The Mindy Project, playing a romantic-comedy-obsessed OB/GYN in New York. Then Kaling boarded a plane to Boston, where she spent three months at the bedside of her mother, who was dying of pancreatic cancer. "In some ways, those were the most amazing three months," says Kaling, who describes her relationship with her mother as one of the most significant of her life.Pancreatic cancer is the fourth leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States. Most patients are diagnosed at a late stage with a five-year survival rate of 2%. "No one is lucky to get cancer, but I remember feeling jealous of people who got a cancer where there were stages and you could do chemo to [treat] it," says Kaling, whose mother lived with the diagnosis for eight months.I landed in Memphis Saturday afternoon tired and on the verge of tears. I knew I had to wipe them away fast though because I couldn’t face my mom crying.
As soon as I had a chance after saying hello I asked the question I most wanted to know.
“So, how bad is it?”
I held my breathe as I waited for the answer and a recap of what the doctor had said. I calmly listened and held strong because I know that’s my job here.
A few days before my scheduled departure to Memphis I learned that my mom had breast cancer. It’s hard to sum up how I felt for the first two days that I knew. I was sad and scared before I had a chance to talk to my mom about it. I was then angry and bitter after that because it didn’t seem fair. Then finally I accepted the fact that it was happening and I would go home and help her through it. By the second day there was no other option in my mind than it being a temporary problem to work through together.
My mom has always leaned on me in tough times. We’ve gone through a whole lot together. I’m the rational one in the family, the logical one, the oldest and the only girl so I’m the one she leans on. I feel duty bound to be there for her and actually cherish this position. She is my mom and best friend after all.
A few years ago my mom almost died from blood poisoning. In fact if we had waited just another hour to go to the hospital she might have died. To say it was the scariest event in my life is an understatement. The thought of her being sick again, in a hospital, scares me. I remember that experience and the anxiety creeps into my mind and threatens to strangle all other coherent thought. Cancer now doesn’t seem fair. My mom has had a hard life and a lot of crap has gone wrong when she didn’t deserve any of it. Things were finally going pretty well for her recently until this. I don’t understand it and won’t even try.
I’m pushing my anxiety down and handling things. Trying not to stress already about how to help her pay the extra medical bills piling up (goodness that happens fast!) or how to deal with other difficult family members. Trying not to stress about being distracted at work or being away from Kepa. Trying not to stress about the fact that I can’t live in two place at once and I don’t know which is the right place for the future. Trying not to stress at all because my job here is to be calm and helpful and get her through it as best as I can. It’s lucky, in a way, that this trip was already scheduled because at least being in the same city means I can’t support her and help in whatever way I can.
Luckily they caught this cancer pretty early we think. She will have to have surgery sometime in May and some sort of other treatments but because they caught it early she has a good chance to beat it even with other health problems she has. YAY, right? She has to meet with a bunch of other doctors first and get a final diagnosis and find out what surgery she needs and whether she whether she will get chemo or radiation (one or the other). Whatever it takes, really. It’s not the end of the world yet. Even if it is expensive and painful and scary, she’ll beat it.
Thank goodness because I’m really not prepared for any other outcome.
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