Showing posts with label Mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

My Mother Does Not Want Me Joining the Gym...

I'm a 17 year old girl and I recently went vegan. I joined calorie count to monitor my nutrition in an attempt to stay healthy and keep my weight up. Despite this, I have lost 4 pounds from my already small frame. I am currently 5'7" and I weigh 110 pounds. The thing is, I know I have plenty of body fat, I just have very very little muscle, and it bothers me not only because I don't look that great, but I don't feel healthy. I want to be fit. I don't really exercise at all. I think going to the gym to strength train would help me put on a little muscle weight. The thing is, my mother doesn't want me to, and I don't really know why. She says she just doesn't want us (implying the rest of the family) to sign up for anything. It's really frustrating because I would drive myself there, and I would pay for it. It's even kind of close to my house. I don't know how to talk her into letting me join. She always points to the stationary bike we have and says to use it instead, or go walk the dog, or take a jog, which are nice ideas, but I need more than just a little cardio. Sure, I could strength train at home doing push-ups, curl-ups, etc., but I'm just not motivated to exercise at home. It's so crowded (small house, 2 dogs and 9 cats, 3 family members who complain when I exercise). My parents always seem to get angry with me when I attempt to get active because they think I could using my time better to do things like chores. If you couldn't already tell, I have very little support from my family to eat healthy and exercise. Sorry for kind of ranting, but I needed to get that off my chest! Anyways, does anyone have any advice on how to talk her into letting me go to the gym? Thanks!


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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What Makes a Good Mom? Characteristics of a Good Mother

Exhausted from trying to be Supermom? You may need a time out to realize you’re doing just fine.

I had just solidified my place in what seemed like a great mommy group filled with smart, professional women who regularly met at a neighborhood toddler play class.

As I positioned my son’s stroller along the back wall and leaned over him to unfasten his seat belt, one of the new moms in the group stood over us watching. Suddenly, she let out a horrified, "Please tell me that’s not Cheetos dust on your son's hands!"

More than 5 million school-aged children wet the bed at night -- with twice as many boys wetting their bed as girls. Here's what you need to know to help your child deal with this common problem.

I felt a red hot flush come over my face. His little toddler paws were covered in the telltale bright orange powder; there was no denying what he’d been eating. I quickly fumbled for a wipe to clear away the mess, not to mention my maternal shame, and slinked quietly into the class, hoping I wouldn’t be cast out of the group as the failed mother who (gasp!) allowed her child to eat junk food.

Snide comments about your parenting -- what you feed your child, how you handle a public tantrum, where you choose to send your child to school -- can feel deeply personal and hurtful. If you are new to the job of mothering (or even if you’re not), you know that a well-placed criticism can cause you serious self-doubt about your parenting skills.

It’s the rare mom who never experiences self-doubt. It’s one of the occupational hazards that come with being a mom. So how do you know if you’re actually being a good mother? Figuring out what works for you and your kids and learning to trust yourself is the best way, experienced moms say. Here’s how to tune in to that self-confidence and own your Supermom within.

My Cheetos incident left me feeling inadequate. What kind of mother feeds her kid processed food that leaves an orange stain? But after the shame subsided, I was outraged. Who was this woman to openly chastise me for the choices I made for my son, no matter what they were?

"Motherhood has become like a spectator sport," Jen Singer, mom to two preteen boys and founder of MommaSaid.net, says. "People feel free to comment on other’s parenting skills. Throw into the mix the Internet and it all goes downhill from there."

Singer has written two books filled with real-world parenting tips -- her latest being Stop Second-Guessing Yourself -- The Toddler Years -- that use humor to remind moms they’re likely doing a better job than they think and, just maybe, we’re all taking ourselves a little too seriously. She says that today's bar for motherhood seems impossibly high.

Deborah Linggi, a communications consultant from San Diego and mother of a 5-year-old son, says the competition among mothers in some circles is palpable. "It used to be," she says, " that Supermom went to work and had kids and kept the house clean. Now it’s trickled into, ‘I breastfed until my kid was 20 and now feed him only organics, take him to piano, soccer, and oh, by the way, I’m a size 6 and my hair always looks great!’" The expectations for moms are unrealistic, she says. Yet we all know women who appear to be meeting them.

Singer suggests that moms looking to gain confidence about their mothering arm themselves with a dose of reality. Comparing yourself to that one perfect mom who seems to be able to do it all is damaging and not a worthy goal. "Supermom is faking it. She is very good at propaganda," Singer says. "The mom who looks completely put together and is baking 100 cupcakes for the school while running the fund-raiser and her own business is exhausted. She’s either employing some help or she’s about to fall apart. You don’t want to aspire to something that is impossible to maintain."


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