And now I binge....

I know I've posted before about how I am trying to recover from an eating disorder because I was hospitalized and in inpatient for rapid weight loss. Last week I posted how I was eating 1300 calories on trying to recover. I was told to eat more. So I tried it and now I can't stop. My first week home went ok... The first 4 days I ate about 1300 per day. But these last three I binged. I feel horrible, like I'm about to explode. I probably are at least 3500 calories maybe even more. I'm a 16 year old male and I know some of my peers eat like this regularly but I feel like I would rather be back in the hospital or dead than feel this guilty. Is it normal to binge at first in recovery? Will I be able to get my control back?

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