Help! My Ex Cheated. I'm Over Him, But Not My Anger.

So, can you ever get past it? SELF's resident mental health expert, Dr. Catherine Birndorf, M.D., is here to help with all your life and relationship problems.

In my view, people tend to get too fixated on the affair. It sucks -- but it's never the whole story. I'd venture a guess that something else in your relationship had already gone wrong, but you unconsciously ignored the signs.

I don't mean "This was your fault," just that there was a problem before the cheating. Take some time to really think that out and you'll find it easier to drop the anger--in part because you'll realize you aren't missing out on anything worthwhile. And consider the anger itself: Some people unknowingly hold on to that pissed-off feeling because there's something satisfying about saying, "Ugh! He was such an asshole!" But that can backfire, because if you remain too consumed with the old, you won't be able to invest in the new. After all, the best revenge is moving on and finding Mr. Next.

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