Rapid weight gain during recovery? Really depressed :(

Just starting to recover...last week and taking it slow. I upped my calorie intake to 1500-1700 and I gained 3 kilograms?? Isn't a pound of fat 3500 calories?

I heard that after being in starvation, your body starts "hanging on to the fat" to prevent starvation but how is it possible if I'm not eating over?

I've been eating less than 200-900 calories for half a year with occasional binges but I think my metabolism varies a lot, mostly good. Today I've been trying to force myself to eat more calories but I always feel full and constipated. :( And I feel so bad about it and burst into tears for no reason at all. I'm up to a hundred pounds and I know I'm a horrible person for thinking this but I feel so fat and ugly.

Tomorrow I'm going to challenge myself not to "calculate" and eat some fear foods. But I'm really scared to gain so much. Is this fat or water weight? And how long will it go way (or ever?!)

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