Parenting Preschoolers: 8 Mistakes Raising 3-5 Year Olds

Find out how you can avoid these common parenting missteps.

Sometimes, it may seem like your preschooler has the innate ability to push you to the outer edge of your patience. And that's on a good day.

Fear not, moms and dads. You're not alone. Preschoolers want to own their newfound independence. But they also want the close attention and love of their caregivers.

Michele Borba, EdD, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, says, "These ages (3-5) are among the most active and frustrating in terms of parenting.

Here are eight common mistakes parents of preschoolers make and some smart fixes to help avoid or resolve problems.

Consistency is key for preschoolers, says pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann, author of Mommy Calls: Dr. Tanya Answers Parents' Top 101 Questions about Babies and Toddlers.

When you're not being consistent with your routine, preschoolers get confused and may act out more or throw more temper tantrums. Altmann says, "If sometimes you let them do something and sometimes you don't, they don't understand."

Your child probably wants to know why last time Mommy let her play on the playground for 10 minutes when school got out but this time wants her to get in the car right away. Or why did Mommy laid down with her for 10 minutes last night while she fell asleep but now says she can't.

Fix it: Be consistent across the board -- whether it's with discipline, sleep habits, or mealtime routines. 

Altmann says if your routine is consistent 90% of the time and your child is doing well, then so are you, and a minor exception may be OK.

It's easy to hone in on your child's negative actions -- like yelling and screaming -- and ignore the good ones.

Altmann says parents tend to focus on what they don't want their preschoolers to do. "They'll say, 'Don't hit. Don't throw. Don't say 'poopy pants,'" she says.

Fix it: Notice when your child is doing something positive, and reward the good behavior.

The reward for positive actions can be your praise, or it can be giving your child a big hug or kiss. "Those types of things really go a long way with preschoolers," Altmann says.

Tell your child, "I like the way you sat quietly and listened," or "That was good when you were so friendly to the child on the playground."

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How Men Can Avoid Common Mistakes After Divorce

Reviewed by Kimball Johnson, MD

Adapting to life after divorce is hard for guys under the best of circumstances. But you can make it easier on yourself, your ex, and your children if you avoid some of the most common mistakes.

Too many men seek out a new relationship before the dust has settled on their divorce, says psychologist Sam J. Buser, PhD, coauthor of The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce. They rush into new relationships -- and often into new marriages -- within the first year.

"That's no doubt the biggest mistake," says Buser, who is based in Houston.

Buser says that men often jump into dating because they're lonely, vulnerable, and sad, and they're looking for someone to help them feel better.

"The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run," he says. "I advise my patients to wait at least two years. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down."

He also advises men to date casually at first.

"Tell the woman you've just been through a tough divorce and that you're not ready for a committed relationship," he suggests. "Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that."

After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. That's another big mistake. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix. Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men. 

Divorced men are also more prone to alcohol problems, so be careful of starting down that road. 

"You don't have to drink every day to have a problem," Buser says. "Drinking a six pack is a binge."

Buser's advice: Connect with other guys. Call up old friends, join a softball team, a club, or a professional association.

"Expand your social and professional network to avoid isolation."

He also says that the aftermath of a divorce is great time to go back to school. It keeps you active, stimulates your mind, potentially advances your career, and gets you out of the house.

You've met someone new. You're excited and happy. Good for you. Just don't make the mistake of expecting your kids to be upbeat about it.

"The last thing the kids want to see is parents getting involved with someone else," says Gordon E. Finley, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in issues facing divorced men and an emeritus professor of psychology at Florida International University in Miami. "They are going to be unhappy. Date when you feel ready, but leave the kids out of it."

Buser agrees. "Focus on the other adult when starting a relationship," he says. "She can meet the kids when you know you are serious."

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Thousands of Mistakes Made in Surgery Every Year

Dec. 26, 2012 -- More than 4,000 preventable mistakes occur in surgery every year at a cost of more than $1.3 billion in medical malpractice payouts, according a new study.

How preventable? Well, researchers call them "never events" because they are the kind of surgical mistakes that should never happen, like performing the wrong procedure or leaving a sponge inside a patient's body after surgery.

But researchers found that paid malpractice settlements and judgments for these types of never events occurred about 10,000 times in the U.S. between 1990 and 2010. Their analysis estimates that each week surgeons:

Leave a foreign object like a sponge or towel inside a patient's body after an operation 39 timesPerform the wrong procedure on a patient 20 timesOperate on the wrong body site 20 times

"I continue to find the frequency of these events alarming and disturbing," says Donald Fry, MD, executive vice president at Michael Pine and Associates, a health care think tank in Chicago. "I think it's a difficult thing for clinicians to talk about, but it is something that must be improved."

In the study, researchers looked at malpractice claim information for surgical never events from the National Practitioner Data Bank from 1990 to 2010. The results are published in Surgery.

Malpractice settlements and judgments relating to leaving a sponge or other object inside a patient, performing the wrong operation, operating on the wrong site or on the wrong person were included in their analysis.

The results showed a total of 9,744 paid malpractice judgments and claims for these types of never events were reported over the 20-year period, totaling $1.3 billion.

Based on these results, researchers estimate that 4,044 surgical never events occur each year in the U.S.

Researchers say the actual number of these surgical mistakes is likely even higher.

"What we report is the low end of the range because many never events go unreported," says researcher Marty Makary, MD, MPH, associate professor of surgery at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

Makary says by law, hospitals are required to report never events that result in a settlement or judgment.

But not all items left behind after surgery are discovered. They are typically only reported when a patient experiences a complication after surgery, and doctors try to find out why.

"We believe the events we describe are real," says Makary. "I cannot imagine a hospital paying out a settlement for a false claim of a retained sponge."

The consequences of surgical mistakes ranged from temporary injury in 59% of the cases to death in 6.6% of the cases and permanent injury in 33% of people affected.

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