Where I stand, personally. Sharing my story.

Well I first started working out and decided I needed a change when I weighed in at 139lbs when I was 18 years old. I was eating crap and I wasn't taking care of myself and my ****ty relationship was no help either. I was unmotivated and before I knew it, I had gained a ton of weight and I was oblivious to it. I remember seeing a picture of myself and not realizing what the hell I had done to get so far off track. So that was when I started eating clean, cut out all junk food and fast food, started cardio and weights. Within the next year/two years I got down to 102lbs but maintained anywhere between 107-112lbs. It was a great weight and I was happy with those numbers.

I continued to count calories but not as religiously as I was when weight loss was my main goal. I was still running everyday, most days up to 7 miles, on top of walking to and from work (which ranged anywhere from 3-6 miles a day). I was happy, I loved my body, and for the first time in my life I was confident. Something I NEVER thought I would ever achieve. Hiking, jogging trails, working out in the park, these were all things I loved to do and I couldn't see myself without these things.

Fast forward to 2012. August 1st, worst day of my life to date. My mother passed away. Everything I knew and loved about being fit, eating clean and working out went completely out of the window. My motivation was shot. My confidence depleted by depression and severe anxiety. My life was forever changed because of this and I had no interest in participating in the things I once loved and were amazing for me. I began spiraling out of control. I was gaining weight, eating horribly and doing nothing to keep myself in shape.

I moved states that December where my workouts were still no where to be found and my eating habits included anything and everything that was no good for my figure. I tried to get myself back on track and motivated but it was difficult and I easily found myself giving up before I could give myself the chance to feel good about getting back into it.

So today, it's a Sunday. June 30th, 2013 to be exact and it's been almost a year since my mother has passed away and I'm not sure where the time has gone. It still feels as though it's August of 2012. I'm in a new state, I'm in a new apartment, I'm living off of money I should be saving. I feel as though I'm making a lot of really rash decisions but none of which are going to make me feel better and confident about myself. So, here I am. Back on BodySpace on BodyBuilding.com; The first place to actually show me that I can make something of myself and feel good about myself for once at a whopping 129lbs.

So I'm back at square one. I'm still slightly depressed, I'm looking for that confidence I had not so long ago. I don't feel like myself anymore and I miss that. I realize that I will never get how I felt back before my mom died, but I want to make a new me. I want to make myself proud and prove to myself that I can do this. Even if means starting back at square one, which kills me inside because I swore I'd never let myself get to this weigh again.

But here I am, and I'm hoping to not get myself back to where I was, but to get myself to a newer, better, and even MORE confident version of myself. Even if that means forcing myself to do this because I can't quit. I will not allow myself to quit or become an even worse version of myself than I am right now. So, there it is. This is me. This is my journey to a new me, a happier me. I know deep down I can do this, it's just a matter of how much I am willing to push myself.

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Ryan Lochte's Reality Show Is Real, Never Forget Where You Parked Again and More!

Oh jeah! Olympic gold-medalist Ryan Lochte stole hearts this summer with his amazing body and goofy-but-loveable interviews. Check out the superteaser for his reality show What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, which is sure to make waves starting April 21. [E! Online]

There are few things more frustrating than completely spacing on where you parked. With these five apps, you'll never have to deal with that "Dude, where's my car???" feeling again. [Mashable]

Need an afternoon break? New research shows that you can perk up your brain with a simple outdoor stroll. [NYTimes]

The secret to hanging totally straight pictures? Duct tape. Who knew? [HuffPost]

If that walk outside didn't wake you up, this might: The trailer for Wolverine (out July 26) was released today. Shirtless Hugh Jackman -- we approve! [JustJared]

Image Credit: WWD/Steve Eichner

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Crude Production Rise: Credit Where Credit’s Due

Last week the Energy Information Administration (EIA) told us that U.S. crude oil production in the first quarter of the year topped 6 million barrels per day (bbl/d) for the first time in 14 years. EIA’s chart:

EIA’s analysis:

“Strong growth in U.S. crude oil production since the fourth quarter of 2011 is due mainly to higher output from North Dakota, Texas, and federal leases in the Gulf of Mexico. … After remaining steady between 5.5 million and 5.6 million bbl/d during each of the first three quarters of 2011, EIA estimates that U.S. average quarterly oil production grew to over 5.9 million bbl/d during the fourth quarter and then surpassed 6 million bbl/d during the first quarter of 2012.”

Certainly, great news like that will restart discussion of who deserves credit for such a production milestone – beyond, of course, the energy companies that are actually pulling the oil from the ground or the seafloor. Politico Pro [subscription required] reports White House spokesman Clark Stevens emailed in the administration’s claim for credit:

“Despite misleading rhetoric by some in Washington, President Obama has made expanding responsible oil and gas production here at home a clear priority and the facts speak for themselves. Since the president took office, domestic oil and gas production has increased each year, with oil production in the first quarter of 2012 higher than any time in 14 years and natural gas production at its highest level ever, and that is certainly thanks in part to steps taken by this administration.”

That’s one view. Others disagree. Politico quotes Tom Kloza, chief oil analyst at the Oil Price Information Service:

“In the end, the president and Congress can’t take credit for what price and technology have delivered. It would be akin to taking credit for the iPad. … Unless there is a price collapse, or a true scientific indictment of fracking, one can expect to see plentiful growth in light sweet crude coming from the Rockies, North Dakota, and even Ohio or West Virginia.”

And Richard Newell, the EIA’s head from 2009-2011:

“In a political year, different parties would like to take credit for positive news in the energy sector and I think here the credit largely goes to technology."

And also Amy Myers Jaffe, an energy fellow at Rice University, who notes that North Dakota and Texas shale production has occurred mainly on private land, while increases from the Gulf result from the actions of previous administrations:

“Production rises from Gulf of Mexico would have been in the hopper way before President Obama took office.”

Settling the argument isn’t as important as recognizing that with the right policies the oil and natural gas industry can further develop America’s energy wealth. With the right strategies and leadership, the United States could see 100 percent of its liquid fuel needs met from North American sources. And along with it: jobs and tax revenues for government.

Strategies, policies and action: It’s what separates election-year rhetoric from substantive progress toward a more secure energy future.

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